


Slow burn

by Notquiteright



Category: Good Omens (TV)
Genre: Alternate title could be God realizes everyone's a dumbass, Crack Treated Seriously, God Ships Aziraphale/Crowley (Good Omens), M/M, Meaning it turned ineffably soft, Minor Beelzebub/Gabriel (Good Omens), POV God (Good Omens), POV Outsider, Then it got Ineffable Husbands-ed, or at least it was supposed to be
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-03
Updated: 2019-10-03
Packaged: 2020-11-22 22:47:34
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,646
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20881922
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Notquiteright/pseuds/Notquiteright
Summary: When the Almighty sees the Serpent of Eden slither up to the Angel of the Eastern Gate Her first thought is “wait, I don’t remember predestining this.”Or 6000 years of slow burn, through God's eyes





	Slow burn

Imagine writing a story. You have all the key plot points you want to include mapped out more or less perfectly. It’s a good plan. You like that plan. And then one of your characters goes and says “no that doesn’t make sense for me, I’d rather not do that.” and you stare at the screen baffled by how they could possibly get away with all this since you’re supposed to be in control. 

The problem is infinitely more complex if you decide to give all your characters free will and let them roam about in the wild. 

Which is why, when the Almighty sees the Serpent of Eden slither up to the Angel of the Eastern Gate Her first thought is “wait, I don’t remember predestining this.” 1

“_You what?_” 

“I gave it away!” the Principality cries and oh. She can feel the threads of fate shift, change, mold to make way for a new one weaving itself persistently into the heart of the Ineffable Plan. It doesn’t alter the outcome; it doesn’t defy destiny. It colors it, _strengthens_ it. 

A demon falling in love with an angel on the walls of Eden. 

She _definitely_ doesn’t remember predestining this. 

It’s not that She should be incredibly surprised; they were, after all, created to be different. What they do with it is their own choice. It seems their choice might just be each other. 

***

She doesn’t take any special interest in them again, until Rome. 

Being basically omnipotent comes with the given benefit that you are aware of every single thing that happens in the universe, even if you don’t devote any special attention to it.2

But Rome… Rome is where the thread shifts again. 

“Let me tempt you to… oh that’s your job, isn’t it?” 

She sees the thread, She knows what’s coming. The angel isn’t in love, not yet, but this is the moment where he seals his own fate. He _will_ fall in love, now it’s inevitable. 

She smiles, intrigued. She might keep an eye on them after all. It’s not like she has any pressing matters coming up in the near future. 

***

The Arrangement is both a source of great amusement and increasing worry for Her. 

Aziraphale and Crowley keep sneaking around, performing miracles for one another and plain using it as an excuse to keep seeing each other. 3 It’s ingenious.  Also immensely entertaining. 

That Heaven hasn’t caught wind of this yet is… while frankly a relief4 is also very alarming.  The fact that Aziraphale can sing Crowley’s praises like a besotted sonneteer would dish out compliments to his muse and Gabriel still hasn’t realized that there is something going on there is a _miracle_.5

It’s times like these that make Her marvel at how bright and yet how utterly dumb her creations can be sometimes. 

Aziraphale and Crowley aren’t the exceptions to that rule. Not by _far_. She doesn’t like to meddle, but sometimes she does have to send a few hints. 

Crowley accidentally overhearing a man talking (rather loudly) about the execution of an English noble so he can save Aziraphale from the Bastille? It’s a minor thing really. Barely noticeable of an influence. 

Crowley accidentally finding out that the Nazis are planning to double-cross a Soho bookseller, names, date and location included? That is less of a minor thing but still, until neither of them question it She can get away with all this. 6

It’s especially worth it this time, since as a demon burns his feet for him on holy ground and saves his books finally, _finally_ Aziraphale gets with the program. 

She almost chuckles at the love-struck expression on the angel’s face before the amusement melts into something softer. 

After all this time love still never ceases to amaze Her. 

***

Dropping hints all over the place for Aziraphale that Crowley is in trouble is an unusual exercise. Not because the demon is stronger, or more capable than Aziraphale. Simply because Crowley could be considered the _inventor_ of most kinds of trouble, meaning he’s an expert on getting out of it. 7 Well,  usually. He does have many, _many_ outstandingly foolish ideas, but none as magnificently stupid as the current one. 

Stealing holy water from a church. With the help of humans. Considering that She doesn’t see the Plan radically alter, (surprisingly) his choices won’t lead to his death, not now at least. Which means Aziraphale will most likely heed Her “subtle” warnings. 

(_You go too fast for me Crowley_ the angel says as he hands the thermos of holy water over to the demon and the Almighty watches them with a flicker of sympathy. 

But the thread remains unchanged.) 

***

She watches the rag-tag little group blink dazedly at each other as Mr. Young scolds Adam. The shift from nearly dying at the hands of Satan to this… is jarring to most. 

Anathema and Newt look like they aren’t certain whether they should go now...? They feel like they’re intruding. And it’s quite uncomfortable. 

Shadwell and Tracy on the other hand seem altogether at a loss as to what just happened and why they’re even _here._

To the Them, the idea of desertion hasn’t even occurred; Adam is in trouble, and they’d never leave him behind. 

Meanwhile Aziraphale and Crowley are smiling, if a little disbelievingly. _Was that all?_

She spares a brief smile at the soot-covered demon._ I told you I'd be testing them, and you all just passed._

This unlikely group of witchfinders, a witch and a psychic. 3 children and one antichrist with his hellhound. An angel and a demon. Most of whom are absolutely terrible at their jobs. All in various states of dirt and exhaustion huddled close together on an airbase. They saved the world. Just like She knew they would. 

***

Aziraphale and Crowley manage to avoid execution by true to form pulling off a stunt that is both impressively bold and potentially very stupid. 

But they’re alive, and a nightingale is singing in Berkeley Square and She knows how that song goes. 

She watches them dance around each other; their words still echoing a careful choreography they had 6000 years to perfect. Be ambiguous. Cautious. Don't reveal too much, but just enough. Barely enough. 

They’re taking a stroll in St. James's Park, the stars twinkling above them conspirationally like they know something the pair doesn’t. 

“Oh dear. It’s getting rather late isn’t it?” the Principality says with the slightest hint of nervousness. Crowley's face goes through a rather fascinating range of emotions in the span of a heartbeat. 8

“Ngh, yes, yes of course. Do you... would you like me to drop you off at the bookshop?” 

“That would be lovely, thank you.” Aziraphale flashes a smile and Crowley nods. 

“Right.” 

“Right” 

The car ride to the bookshop is spent in silence. Well, insofar as the Bentley blaring out _Somebody to love_ is considered _silent_. 9

“Goodnight angel” Crowley says, waiting for Aziraphale to climb out the door, back into his beloved bookshop. He hasn’t seen it since it has been restored, and Crowley assumes the angel can’t wait to see his home in one piece with his own eyes. 

Surprisingly (to only the demon probably) Aziraphale stares resolutely at him instead and makes no move to leave. 

“Oh for heaven's sake!” the angel gives up, and before Crowley has a chance to question what’s happening Aziraphale grabs a fistful of his jacket and yanks him closer for a kiss. After overcoming the initial shock, the demon kisses him back and She cheers while the persistent late-comer of a thread flashes in brilliant hues around them, bathing the unaware pair in celestial light. 

“Crowley would you... like to stay?” there is no untoward implication here. 10 It's merely a plea: _stay with me._

Crowley does. 

***

“What izzz it?” Beelzebub grumbles into the speaker in a tone that clearly implies the caller is anything but a welcome distraction. 

“I thought we should discuss our... mutual enemies.” 

“Well don't keep me in suspense” they reply drily after a beat has passed. “Have you managed to come up with something Gabriel?” 

“As a matter of fact I did.” 

Around them a new thread starts to shimmer. It's barely visible but it's still _there_ and God shifts Her gaze from Aziraphale playing with a strand of Crowley's hair to focus on Her archangel instead. 

_Here we go again_. 

  1. She did predestine a few things about them mind you. Like their unique role in the coming Apocalypse. But that’s not to happen for quite some time.  [ ▲ ]
  2. There were quite a lot of things happening Plan-wise, which were far more urgent than watching a demon pine after an angel.  [ ▲ ]
  3. She once debated appearing before Aziraphale to let him know that She is very much okay with what they’re doing just so they would cease with their endless talking around each other but She knows he definitely wouldn’t be ready to hear that yet. [ ▲ ]
  4. Again, She would have to intervene and She doesn’t want to.  [ ▲ ]
  5. Not the divine kind. More along the lines of “luckily his boss is an idiot.” To be fair to Gabriel he has never been among humans long enough that the idea of an angel being in love would even occur to him. Nevertheless, he somehow still doesn’t suspect a thing which is simply astonishing.  [ ▲ ]
  6. Neither of them question it because, as She is reminded yet again: so bright, yet so dumb.  [ ▲ ]
  7. Unlike Aziraphale.  [ ▲ ]
  8. First disappointment, then anger at himself for being disappointed, then resignation, finally a bit of guilt for not realizing that he was keeping the angel.  [ ▲ ]
  9. The last time the car played this particular song, he'd been driving away from the bookshop and Crowley could really have gone without _that_ reminder.  [ ▲ ]
  10. They do however make-up for 6000 years’ worth of kisses and then cuddle in the bed.  [ ▲ ]


End file.
